We join the story at the point where a policeman arrives to take mr punch to be hung for beating up his wife and child, only to get a beating himself. Luckily joey the clown arrives in time to save the day, following a bizarre interlude where the bexley basher and the woolwich walloper have a quick boxing match. The show was performed by award winning professor john styles, one of the grandest of them all. He introduced the show by explaining that mr punch hits people, and that anyone of a politically correct disposition might be advised to ‘clear off’ (twirl of the hand), which is curious because a lot of professors handle the domestic violence aspect of the show a bit differently; the guy at the plumstead make merry for example, who pulls of the tricky feat of modernising the show whilst keeping the tradition alive. The problems about violence were pointed out in advance, and the audience were invited to challenge punch’s behaviour. Also, it does have a happy end, mainly thanks to the crocodile, who eats mr punch’s stick, and nearly finishes off mr punch too, who then, having been resuscitated by joey the clown, realises the error of his ways and promises to turn over a new leaf.

This would have been better as a video as it includes lots of visual jokes, there’s the odd decent one on youtube, such as the weymouth beach version.

Punch and Judy by eshootershill

Welling and District Model Engingeering Society

Well, that’s it for another year of local steam train fun. Sunday was the last public running day on the Falconwood Toy Trains, and it was busier than I’ve ever seen it before – which is understandable considering that Electricité De France, the landowners, might need the land back. Unfortunately a suitable new home has not been arranged as yet, and I get the feeling it’s going to be hard finding somewhere as neatly secluded as the grounds of an electrical substation. The thought of moving must be quite a daunting one, as the track itself is twelve hundred feet long (that’s 386 metres to edf), and that’s before they begin to think about what to do with all the other accumulated steam travel paraphenalia and structures they’ve been adding to the circuit over the last x years, such as the glorious little humpback bridge that takes you over the railway as you enter the enclosure.

In my continuing efforts to present a multi-sensory hill experience I have added a recording of a ride around the track to accompany the photo, and short of coming round to your house and starting a coal fire in front of your armchair and spraying you with steam, I think it goes some way towards reflecting the moment, I deliberately didn’t use video, as sound leaves a bit more to the imagination.

Welling and District Model Engineering Society

Walk London Audio Guides have been provided for the different sections of the chain, including those that make this pathway; although they go clockwise, this particular trek is being done the other way, presumably as it involves more downhill walking, well it is seven miles long after all! The guides make for curious listening, and even feature cameo appearances from boycie. I’ve put the audio alongside the maps, which include the Green Chain in red lines, and the Capital Ring route in yellow.

Green Chain Walk Section 6

Green Chain – Section 6 (Oxleas Wood to Mottingham via Eltham)

Green Chain Walk Section 5

Green Chain – Section 5 (Thames Barrier to Oxleas Wood)

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